Here we are

Ok - so I had hoped to start blogging back in 2011.  I really wanted to make this a regular "to do" - but here we are 3 years later. 

There has been A LOT that has happened including the addition of Amara to our family.

This photo shoot was taken nearly a month ago.  We now a family of six with an 8, 7, 5 and 3 month old.

I almost did not post this photo because I look at myself and don't love my shape and size, but then decided, this is me, I love my family and want to be able to look back at this family photo and have me included in it. 

I often get really "stressed out" for family photos, and this time was no different, but I am learning that no matter what when I see the photos at the end of the session - This is us, the expressions and body language reflect my children and even husband and I as we are.  We to often look at the negative of ourselves, but I love this photo of my beautiful family of six!

Becoming stronger, by finding some ME TIME

The girls are currently playing really nicely on the computer downstairs, no fighting, quiet, I'm afraid they've made a huge mess, but am not going to worry, Bryan took Tyler to guitar lessons so I have 45 mins of me time if I so choose to use it.  I've cleaned the kitchen from dinner, and made lunches.  So why do I feel guilty?  Should I go downstairs and play with them?  They are being so good.
I met with a Naturopath today and the biggest take away from her is that it is a completely selfless act to do something for myself.  Completely for myself.  No guilt.  Yes I haven't seen everyone every minute of the day today, but the time I do spend with my kids should be good quality time right? And that means mom needs to be a quality person.  Not stressed.  By giving to myself and loving myself I will be able to be there for my kids and really be FUN!! 

I have someone in to clean my house, but I still stress over the little things, I feel guilty when I sit and relax.  So I shove more things in the closet, to keep it out of sight and sit down at this computer to think, and talk.

I am going to start taking some time for me, get out of the house, get some exercise, have a bath.  I totally bought the house we live in for the en suite bathroom with the jacuzzi tub and I NEVER use it.  Well I'm going to; Starting tonight.  Get into the bath with a book and take some more time for me. (I won't be greedy every night)

I feel like today was a great day for reflection.  First when I saw the Naturopath and then when I went to teacher interviews in the afternoon.  I am very thankful that each child is doing great in their classroom. Both are learning to read at their own pace (which I get to see when we read their shooting stars or rocket readers at night). The interviews gave me a chance to talk about the kids as individuals.

Tyler has a new love for learning and is interested in reading and writing, though he gets "bored" doing homework nearly every night with mom. He'd rather play wii or watch family channel when he gets home from school. Most nights that's what I allow him to do so that I can get dinner cooked, dishes put away, and just some downtime for me. Homework can be a struggle, but in the end he completes it and enjoys reading to us at bedtime.

Alexandra, is also doing great at school. She enjoys drawing and colouring and spends lots of time getting her pictures right. She is starting to put words into her pictures and can tell the teacher what the picture is of and it matches, which I am told is where they should be by the end of the year.  I also got thinking about her relationship with me.  How she gets under my skin and I'm going to work on it.  She is a beautiful, smart, funny and independent little girl.  I read a blog about a mother and her son and how she was afraid of the relationship they had and it made me realise that I too am afraid of my kid.  I don't like when she pushes my buttons, but what I realised tonight in the interview with her teacher is that I let her push my buttons.  I know what Alexandra is like and I know things that may set her off.  I need to remind myself of the funny things she says and does and push the hard times from my mind.  Alexandra has already taught me a lot about myself and I know she will continue to teach me and I will grow with her in understanding her.

I got to think about Lilly as well, though we weren't talking about her.  She is different then both Tyler and Alexandra.  I certainly treat her as a third child.  I took her soother away on Saturday night and she didn't even ask for it again.  She was ready to be a big kid and I was keeping her my baby.  She is talking a LOT more lately and its getting much easier to understand her.  She has started reading along with Tyler and Alexandra and is really focused with colouring.



I am so very blessed to be raising each of my beautiful children and now that I know I can be "selfish" and that I should put away some guilt, I will try to give myself some quiet time.  I know that it will help me to be a better mother, wife, friend and co-worker.  We only get one kick at the can, but we learn from our mistakes, and each time we go through a stressful situation we become better and stronger and life gets a little easier.

Back to school

I can't believe it's here!  It seems like just yesturday that our first was born and now we have one starting grade 1 and another begining her school career in JK.

We have had a fabulour summer with 2 great weeks at Sauble Beach.  It was so fabulour I found it difficult to think about going back to work.  We all had so much fun swimming in the water, walking the beach, going on family outings to the museum, park, and train.

It's hard to say goodbye to summer and I hope that the weather gods are nice to us and give us a nice long warm fall.  With the nicer weather our space is extended to the bakyard and we love getting outside before bedtime.

So it's nearly midnight and I can't sleep.  I can't decide if its excitement (though I know that some of it is) or fear, for a new beginning and me having no real control over it, or just the fact that I got some extra sleep thanks to my fabulous mother.

We also (because I like to make it difficult) decided to start the little ones at a new pre-school.  I know that this switch will be a good one, but why I chose the first day of school, who knows?

With 5 bags packed for the morning and 1 lunch, 3 kids going to a new place it's sure to be an eventful day, but we will be there for the beginning and the end of the day to ensure all goes as smoothly as possible.

Wish me luck, I know I can make it happen I just hope it comes with little tears and fears.

Photo Book

Click here to view this photo book larger

All You Need is LOVE

It's interesting how things work.  If you are ready to acept what life has to offer you.

I have had a movie recorded for practically a year now.  I hadn't watched it.  I may have started to, but then LIFE got in the way and I forgot about it.  I was wanting some down time tonight, so went to the list and pressed play.  What I was ready to accept was LOVE!

In January of 2005 I remember the exact moment my life changed dramatically.  The moment I found out I was going to be a mom.  I went from WILD CHILD to a knowledge that I was going to grow, and raise a child.  It was something I was terrified about, but welcoming.  We had talked for more than 5 years about this day.

Destiny and Love.

He was born that September and the LOVE was intesified for our beautiful son.  I didn't know what life would be like, but I did realise I was going to be responsible for helping to shape this little one.  I had a stronger and more purposeful life.  Adulthood!  I really didn't rely on anyone but me, didn't take resposiblity for my actions until becoming a mom.  Just a year later I got that "feeling".  LOVE was spreading.  This time a girl and how perfect she is.  We grew, more adulthood, a house, van, more responsibility.  The LOVE, our purpose, continued to shape itself when we were blessed with yet another girl, SISTERS.

I find myself being extra sentimental this month because we celebrated 2 birthdays and 2 graduations.  I no longer have any babies, but a toddler, a pre-school graduate and a Kindergarten graduate.  The LOVE that we have is continuing to grow and I love being reminded to stop.  To share.  To enjoy.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you
in time - It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
Love is all you need - Lennon/McCartney

I will stop to ENJOY My life as a Working Mom of 3.  Thanks for helping me to see what life was offering me.

Here I am

I decided to join the world of blogging.  I made the conscious decision to start up this blog, but then looked at the blank screen for quite a while.  My first question to answer "What is this blog going to be about?"
The answer? My family, Everything I do is about, for and with my family.

I have always been a very easy going person and I would say in the past self absorbed as most young adults are.  It may have taken me a little longer to get here,  but since starting my family in 2005 I feel like I have changed, though not as a person completely.  Me I'm still in here, I'm still me,  but I am much more focussed, responsible and sure of myself.

The next question I had to answer is "What do I want to achieve with this blog?"
Well I've never been a very organized person (I'll let my younger sister be the organized one). And because its not really a strength of mine, I haven't been keeping a good log or record for my kids.  I tried to make a baby book for each of my children.  I instead made a video montage of photos I had taken of the kids in their first year.  Slowly I have noticed I take fewer and fewer.  To find a family photo to put on my blog post header, well the latest was in September 2010 and my husband isn't even in it.  I am going to try to record the funny, the ah ha moments,  the challenges and the "stuff" that goes on  with my family of 5.  There will be lots of talk I'm sure about my  mom (who I am I lucky enough to work with everyday) and my sisters.  We are very close and they are a big part of my family dynamic.  I don't actually expect a  following, but wanted to keep a journal of sorts where I can reflect on: the total awesome moments and struggles as I learn to be Mom, Wife, Daughter,  Sister, Aunt, Friend and Bra Fitting Specialist all at the same time. I am not a writer; I will leave that job to my wonderful older sister, so don't check for grammar or spelling.  I will post from time to time, hopefully to learn something about myself, my role and my family along the way.

Enjoy,
Tara